Congratulations to David for his 1st place win in the inaugural 2007 Summer DPT tournament!
This was the first sanctioned event of the DPT and as the name Donkey Poker Tour suggests the June 6th 7-handed $40 + 5 nlh game drew only the best mules out for the evening. Exceptionally high levels of donkery were observed at the table from the get go. Early chip leads were secured by Ronnie “Donkbonius” Barry, and Randy “SAGA” Shrier. Pocket jacks were a popular hand and we all learned the true value of JJ in this crowd. Regardless, David “Omaha” Steizer’s torrid affair with JJ (2x) ultimately lead to the evening’s only re-buy (a projected DPT record).
When he wasn’t dealing 5 card stud, “Itchy” Mitch B. demonstrated some strong moves with an all-in river bluff with 53o forcing Randy to muck the winning hand. A donkery master? Or genius poker player? You be the judge. (for answer see paragraph 7)
P-P-Peterson’s unusually tight play early in the evening secured him a rare sense of respect in the donk stable as his UTG raises were rewarded with blinds and limped in calls. The poker god’s were smiling as Peterson’s pocket snowmen (88) held up against Rini’s all-in “presto” (55). Ronnie may have left the bodog chip protector at home but Peterson still found aces in the hole once against Randy’s busted straight draw. An ace fell on the river and a modest number of chips were donated by Randy.
Ho-bag wrangler and expert donkette, Mary Loomis-Shrier was ‘relatively’ subdued for our normal freeze-out donkument. That’s right… limited spitting and slurring. Perhaps she didn’t see enough unsuited connectors or pocket joeys… but I suspect it had something to do with the hand-delivered Crustacean leftovers under her seat. Mary faced a tough elimination though when her 2 pair did not hold up against Ronnie's turned King high spade flush.
In between all the suckouts, felony and misdemeanor stories were exchanged and perhaps the hottest topic of the evening was Paris Hilton’s cavity search. While TMZ reports showed no conclusive evidence of contraband, Ronnie deduced that the most appropriate snatch-find would be that of Nicole Richie. Miss Richie was unavailable for comment.
Unfortunately, no bonus points for best joke are awarded here in the DPT and ohhh boy Ronnie sure could have used them. Only shortly after did DONKbonius’ luck head south. If Mitch wasn’t stealing chopped pots from him then David (QT) was trapping with the nut straight on a flop that came AKJ. Ronnie liked his AX and pushed but the turn and river were no help. Sanctioned event eliminations: Ronnie-0, David-1.
Mitch pushed 400+ in blind preflop with rags and eventually, we were down to 3. Play was fast and blinds were sitting high at 50/100. For a moment, an observer may have thought they were actually watching good poker but Randy and David authenticated our reputation for donkery with a dual misread… both betting into what they believed to be ‘made’ gut shot straight draws. The cards were flipped: David paired the board with his 8 but Randy’s pair of 6’s was no good. For a guy that can’t spell and plays poker with one eye open… Randy was happy to have his buy-in returned and a 3rd place point for the DPT leader board.
The cash pot was chopped by Peterson and David around 11:30 PM but they were going to do battle for the DPT points. Blinds were raised to 100/200 and Omaha Steizer pushed the first hand sending a message to Peterson that he was King of the Donkeys and as SAGA’s new GC that’s just how it was going to be. Peterson conceded to David’s lack of patience only because it was David’s “big day” and David is in financial prison on the home front. (Perhaps a bloody win for David would help appease the currently abroad Mrs. Steizer) Peterson pushed all in with T9 after the flop and hit his miracle 7 for the straight to double up. Next, Peterson executed a strong all in preflop push getting his money in with the best hand (AT) against David’s dominated A9 but the suck out was returned as a 9 fell on the river granting David top pair and this weeks Donkey Scepter.
DBT #1 Results:
7th: Rini $0 0 points
6th: Mary $0 0 points
5th: Ronnie $0 0 points
4th: Mitch $0 0 points
3rd: Randy $40 1 point
2nd: Scott $140 2 points
1st: David $140 3 points
Congratulations again to all the donkeys… may you play Any Two Cards!
-Peterson
This was the first sanctioned event of the DPT and as the name Donkey Poker Tour suggests the June 6th 7-handed $40 + 5 nlh game drew only the best mules out for the evening. Exceptionally high levels of donkery were observed at the table from the get go. Early chip leads were secured by Ronnie “Donkbonius” Barry, and Randy “SAGA” Shrier. Pocket jacks were a popular hand and we all learned the true value of JJ in this crowd. Regardless, David “Omaha” Steizer’s torrid affair with JJ (2x) ultimately lead to the evening’s only re-buy (a projected DPT record).
When he wasn’t dealing 5 card stud, “Itchy” Mitch B. demonstrated some strong moves with an all-in river bluff with 53o forcing Randy to muck the winning hand. A donkery master? Or genius poker player? You be the judge. (for answer see paragraph 7)
P-P-Peterson’s unusually tight play early in the evening secured him a rare sense of respect in the donk stable as his UTG raises were rewarded with blinds and limped in calls. The poker god’s were smiling as Peterson’s pocket snowmen (88) held up against Rini’s all-in “presto” (55). Ronnie may have left the bodog chip protector at home but Peterson still found aces in the hole once against Randy’s busted straight draw. An ace fell on the river and a modest number of chips were donated by Randy.
Ho-bag wrangler and expert donkette, Mary Loomis-Shrier was ‘relatively’ subdued for our normal freeze-out donkument. That’s right… limited spitting and slurring. Perhaps she didn’t see enough unsuited connectors or pocket joeys… but I suspect it had something to do with the hand-delivered Crustacean leftovers under her seat. Mary faced a tough elimination though when her 2 pair did not hold up against Ronnie's turned King high spade flush.
In between all the suckouts, felony and misdemeanor stories were exchanged and perhaps the hottest topic of the evening was Paris Hilton’s cavity search. While TMZ reports showed no conclusive evidence of contraband, Ronnie deduced that the most appropriate snatch-find would be that of Nicole Richie. Miss Richie was unavailable for comment.
Unfortunately, no bonus points for best joke are awarded here in the DPT and ohhh boy Ronnie sure could have used them. Only shortly after did DONKbonius’ luck head south. If Mitch wasn’t stealing chopped pots from him then David (QT) was trapping with the nut straight on a flop that came AKJ. Ronnie liked his AX and pushed but the turn and river were no help. Sanctioned event eliminations: Ronnie-0, David-1.
Mitch pushed 400+ in blind preflop with rags and eventually, we were down to 3. Play was fast and blinds were sitting high at 50/100. For a moment, an observer may have thought they were actually watching good poker but Randy and David authenticated our reputation for donkery with a dual misread… both betting into what they believed to be ‘made’ gut shot straight draws. The cards were flipped: David paired the board with his 8 but Randy’s pair of 6’s was no good. For a guy that can’t spell and plays poker with one eye open… Randy was happy to have his buy-in returned and a 3rd place point for the DPT leader board.
The cash pot was chopped by Peterson and David around 11:30 PM but they were going to do battle for the DPT points. Blinds were raised to 100/200 and Omaha Steizer pushed the first hand sending a message to Peterson that he was King of the Donkeys and as SAGA’s new GC that’s just how it was going to be. Peterson conceded to David’s lack of patience only because it was David’s “big day” and David is in financial prison on the home front. (Perhaps a bloody win for David would help appease the currently abroad Mrs. Steizer) Peterson pushed all in with T9 after the flop and hit his miracle 7 for the straight to double up. Next, Peterson executed a strong all in preflop push getting his money in with the best hand (AT) against David’s dominated A9 but the suck out was returned as a 9 fell on the river granting David top pair and this weeks Donkey Scepter.
DBT #1 Results:
7th: Rini $0 0 points
6th: Mary $0 0 points
5th: Ronnie $0 0 points
4th: Mitch $0 0 points
3rd: Randy $40 1 point
2nd: Scott $140 2 points
1st: David $140 3 points
Congratulations again to all the donkeys… may you play Any Two Cards!
-Peterson
1 comment:
hee-haw
the time for honoring yourself shall soon come to an end.
---Donkecutioner
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